Ive been in another country for 2 weeks now, i leave in 2 days. im in brazil right now, its been fun, im tired and ready to return home. ive been feeling a sense of urgency to return, but at the same time i want to stay, and stare at all the foreign things that are right in front of me all the time. what makes this even worse is ive been subjecting myself to music that probably doesnt help my mental state at all. im not feeling depressed or any type of anguish, im just feeling the typical….”melancholic takeover”.
“brother, you gotta chill” i say to myself in my mind. but how to i chill? thats a difficult thing to mull over in my mind, as its a cyclical thing.
i dated this girl once, she said try not to focus on the past or future and live in the “now”. i always thought that was absolutely ridiculous, because how can i not think about things that were, and things that will be? the future is out of my hands, and the past already ran its course. so i sit here, in a melancholic state, listening to the late jason molina, thinking about how im going to stay positive about my self and my life in the coming days, weeks, months, years, decades.
im not trying to get at anything with this post, maybe im just using it to outgas some bullsh*t on my brain wrinkles. Jason Molina, now capitalized.. sorry man. im listening to your music right now. every song i make is in some slight piece inspired by you in a way. i wish i could have had a hello with you at some point. when ive “ran my course” ill see you up there, and see you with that blue factory flame.
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